That’s when I realized that people go about this “dating” thing in completely the wrong way. How many times have you gotten involved with someone, only to find out that they’re a serial cheater? Or horrible in bed? Or a drug addict who’s trying to steal your kidney for heroine money? It’s with this in mind that I propose Dating Resumes.
Think about it. Sure, people probably wouldn’t put down on their resume that they’re only trying to harvest your organs for sweet lady “H,” but you’ve got to believe that they probably wouldn’t have a lot of glowing references.
So I made a quick survey of some of my exes and hook-ups and found that I was able to get 5 volunteers to be “sex references.” Now if only it were socially acceptable to walk up to a girl in a bar and see, “I’m amazing in bed. Check with these 5 girls.”
I think what this whole thing really underlines is how off-base most people are when it comes to relationships. People put way too much emphasis on how they feel, and way too little on “is this relationship fulfilling my needs.” I don’t want to imply that emotion and attraction don’t play a role. Of course those things are important! But I see so many people staying in straight up bad relationships, just because they’re attracted to the other person. Everyone needs to take a step back and realize that there’s more involved than just wanting to jump your significant other’s bones every time he or she enters the room. Take it from a guy who’s been attracted to way too many bad decisions: It’s time to be more logical about the choices we make. I’ll be typing up my dating resume, position requests and compensation requirements shortly.
