Guess Who's Back?

I guess I should find it ironic that after years of joking that my company would “get wise and fire me” they almost did. Sadly, I think it’s one of those things that will only become amusing years later.

Basically what happened is that I got into a dispute with a douche-bag of a co-worker and when I complained to HR, he sent my blog to the company president.

The funniest part of this was that I then had to go into a meeting and defend my job to an HR woman who may actually be functionally retarded.

Alleged HR Retard: Well, we're concerned about how your slanderous writing reflects on the company.
Me: You shouldn’t be. When it’s in print, it’s called “Libel.”
Alleged HR Retard: Well, still…When you get sued…
Me: The only person in my blog who isn’t anonymous is me. I’m crazy, but I don’t think I’m crazy enough to set a president of trying to sue myself for defamation. Also, it’s not actionable if the “libel” actually happened.
Alleged HR Retard: FINE. But the point is that you’re representing the company when you blog.
Me: You mean my anonymous blog represents the company? The one where I never post a last name or mention where I work?
Alleged HR Retard: But your picture is up there.
Me: So your theory is that someone will see a picture of me and somehow know the name of the horrible company that employs me?

We went round and round like this for a while but the end result was this:

1. I was put on probation and forbidden from blogging again under threat of termination.
2. A black mark went on my “permanent record.” I can only assume it appears next to the incident in 3rd grade when I was sent home for swearing.

The bottom line of all this was, “Your time here is up. We want you gone, but don’t want to get sued.”

So what have I been doing since then? Well the person who started this whole shit-storm is very high up. So it’s given me immense pleasure to stick around and rub his nose in the fact that he’s such a lightweight he couldn’t even get me fired.

That’s been the fun part. The sucky part has been trying to find another job, because as much as I bitch about how giant and evil this company is, I’ve generally enjoyed working here.

Monday, I’m off to a new (and better) job. Where, instead of being the bottom step of the company, I’ll be carpet on the bottom step. Ah, sweet progress!

Will I return again? Of course! Check back later today when I dedicate an entire post to the light-weight, incompetent, douche-bag who started all this!