Lazy

There are days when I wish I ran the type of blog where I just comment on celebrities, weird video clips, or pictures of Britney’s snatch. Because you always have something to write or comment on. Unfortunately, I had to be “original” and write about weird thoughts that come to me during the day. Meaning that on slow days, such as today, I’m royally fucked.

Besides work, here’s what darted across my conscienciousness today:

1. I must be slipping. Since when does a girl sending me a photo of her nipple rings qualify as sending “mixed signals”?
2. Nipple rings are hot.
3. Revenge fucking an ex-girlfriend: worth it?
4. Did the Chinese place around the corner noticed that I stole one of their beer mugs?
5. I want silicon implants to keep on my desk at work. That way, whenever I’m stressed out, I can squeeze a breast.
6. Nipple rings are REALLY hot. The girl who sent me this is the devil. Now that this picture is in my possession, I’m never going to get any work done.
7. My Ex-girlfriend who cheated on me is a filthy whore. But she had an incredible rack. And ass. Maybe I should punish her through anal sex.
8. Masturbation in the work bathroom: Hmmm…Probably not a great idea. The C.E.O. probably doesn’t need to hear me whisper, “You like that, don’t you whore?” from the stall next to him.
9. Maybe I should get a tattoo. Or start cutting myself. I think “crack whore” is “in” again this year.
10. Nipple rings are REALLY FUCKING HOT.

None of those things is really worthy of a whole post about. Except maybe the nipple rings. But if I did so, I’d have to go ease the tension in the men’s bathroom. And that’s just too dirty, even for me.

So instead, I’m going to be unoriginal. Below is a picture of what my sister made for me. And by “made” I mean by hand, using enamel, bronze and a torch.



She’s the best. Hon, we need to come up with a cool alter-ego for you, like Jack Saddle did. Write in if you have any suggestions. If anyone’s interested in seeing her other work (she’s fucking amazing) check out her myspace page, which she uses to display some of her other art.

Lastly, I don’t usually go on You Tube. But today, I was listening to a guy named Monte Montgomery who’s absolutely sick. If I could play guitar like this, I would never leave my house again. He’s a fucking god, especially starting at about 1:30 in. Enjoy. Maybe I’ll get back to actually coherent writing tomorrow.