Basically, the movie brought home a realization that I’d had about three years ago: Hollywood has just completely given up writing anything new. Basically, the only things that get green-lighted are remakes of shitty sit-coms and the same four action, horror, romance, or comedy. It’s slightly depressing that the film industry has all this money but, apparently, no idea how to spend it on anything worth while.
Well, if only same few scripts keep getting made, my friend and I hit on a fantastic idea for a film. We’re going to remake a teen comedy. No change in script, setting, or characters. The only difference: the cast.
Awkward Boy Desperately Wooing the Hot Girl: Christopher Walken
Hot Girl: Edward James Olmos
Best Friend: A guy in a fat suit doing an impression of Marlon Brando.
The Mean, Insecure Girl: The Rock
Principal: Ralph Macchio
Coach: Chuck Norris
The only real addition to the script would be a showdown between Chuck Norris and Ralph Macchio. The way I see it, Chuck Norris ends the fight with a flying crane kick to Ralph Macchio’s sternum.
My friend keeps contending that Eric Roberts needs to play a prominent role, but I have my doubts. Mr. Roberts, by the way, will forever have the epithet “World’s Greatest B Movie Actor Ever” attached to his name. I, however, am not as enamored of “The Pope of Greenwich Village” as he is. Besides, I wouldn’t want to make a mockery of the production.
In case you’re interested, by the way, there’s a fake website promoting Christopher Walken for President. I find it highly amusing and have a poster for his candidacy on the wall in my cube at work. But what’s even more fantastic is the other merchandise you can buy, such as a "What Would Walken Do?" Thong. After all, who doesn’t want Christopher Walken in their pants?
1 comment:
Like everything else Walken touches, this will turn to gold.
Post a Comment