Don’t get me wrong, I’m not slamming on fake boobs…at least not the kind you’re thinking of. I was walking through the mall over the weekend, when, for possibly the first time ever, I noticed the breasts of the mannequins in the stores. Yes, they were all perfect plastic sweater-cows, the likes of which can only be seen in virtually any porno movie, but there was something else: they all had nipples. Each mannequin was sporting what appeared to be 2” nipples poking through the shirt, dress or sweater that they were wearing. It was enough to make me stop mid-stride.
It wasn’t as if this was a lingerie store, either. They were selling blouses and generic women clothing, which has definitely gotten racier over the years, but still…nipples? Why would anyone need to see that? It’s not like men were going to be buying the clothing because they thought the mannequins were hot. And why would women want to wear stuff that showed off their nipples? I mean, if they wanted to do that, they’d be better off sporting body paint.
What scares me most about the nipple development is not that I know that eventually 12 year old girls are going to assume that flashing is trendy. What concerns me is that I know that it will never stop here. Mark my words, three years from now I’ll be walking by a men’s department where a mannequin is sporting a full, 12” hard on. It’ll be dressed in a pink button-down shirt, halfway open, to show off enough golden chest-hair to weave a hut for a village of freezing Eskimos. Beige khakis will spill down into sandals and one hand will be casually holding a tennis racquet. But there, unmistakably, unavoidably, undeniably will be a giant, foot-long erection.
I imagine that even through the pants, it would be obviously circumcised. I only hope that by that time, they’ll have the technology to make the throbbing of it’s many noticeably veins fully realistic. Otherwise, what would be the point of dressing up a giant cock in dress pants?
Clothes are meant to cover your body. If you’re THAT into flashing your breasts to the entire world, give it up and just start going topless. Selling clothes using a mannequin that has blatantly obvious nipples is the equivalent of making cereal boxes with a fat dude taking an enormous shit right on the cover.
The fact that they have anatomically-correct mannequins doesn’t freak me out. What I’m really curious about, however, was the first mannequin manufacturer who said, “Damn it, Rupert! We need to make our mannequins with nipples. HUGE nipples. Think ‘porn star drowning in ice-water’ big.” What was the first company that didn’t immediately tell that guy to pack his shit up and get the fuck out?
I guess what the whole thing has taught me is that by the time my daughter (provided I ever ever have one) is 15, she’ll be hurrying off to school wearing nipple-tassels and a thong to show off her clit-piercing.
And people wonder why parents flip out and kill officials at little league games…
1 comment:
Perhaps the mannequins are just cold...
It is a little disturbing, I must say. A few years ago I was doing an assignment in photography and happened across a mannequin like the one you've mentioned. In fact, it had a PERFECT body by the standards that seem to be prominent now. I photographed this as a curiosity and realized that it's just another part of the media that suggests (basically, by hitting women - and men - over the head) that this is the body that every woman should have. People should have been in an uproar instead they walked by accepting it.
Don't get me wrong, I do think that obesity is far too common nowadays and is a problem as well as the above-mentioned body type but it's a standard that no one can live up to. They will have to starve themselves to look like that.
That said, I do believe that the nipple thing will only go so far. The pendulum has swung too far in one direction and it will certainly come back toward the middle and the opposite extreme. I believe that will be somewhere around the time that "Strippersize" disappears from the face of the planet...
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