Nicknames and Holy Wars

I was walking through the video store with a friend of mine recently when we started discussing names for our group of comrades. We’re an odd bunch: 2 Jews, 4 Muslims, and one huge Irish Atheist.

Basically, imagine every single religious war that could be imagined and then multiply that by 50. That’s what it’s like every time we go out.

“How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“None! They’ll sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews!”

Personally, I’m shocked that they continue sitting down at the poker table with myself and my religious cohort. I mean, you know how we Jews are with money.

“Dude, I can’t BELIEVE you called me.”
“What are you going to do, bomb me?”

And that’s before alcohol gets involved. A night out on the town usually ends with cries to kill the infidels and threats to ruin other people’s credit records.

My friend is really into nicknames and secret handshakes. In high school, he and I worked out a handshake routine before baseball games that took about 10 minutes to complete. We had to start it on the bus before we arrived at the actual field. So it was only a matter of time before he decided to name our group of friends. I reflected for a moment and said:

The MuJews, featuring Handsome Spence.

Now you’ll know the name of the gang of idiots starting a religious war next to you in the bar this weekend. Short post today, bitches! I’m off to drink some Muslims under the table.