Not really. I just thought it’d be a funny way to start today’s blog. I have a question: What the fuck is going on with High School killing sprees? What ever happened to the angry loners just repressing their rage and developing severe psychological trauma until they killed themselves 20 years later in a hunting shack in the middle of Washington State? Seriously, you little fucking pansies: suck it up and deal.
Waaaaaaaah! I’ve got acne and no one understands me. Waaaaaah! Daddy doesn’t love me! Waaaaaaaaaaaah! Grandpa used to touch me! Welcome to life, dipshit.
It’s ridiculous. Not because I don’t condone killing idiotic high school kids (What, did anyone else like “Carrie”?), but because it’s such a loser way out. Yeah, I know the kids are all anxious to shoot a dude in the head with a rifle after seeing their role model, Dick Cheney do it. But there are so many cooler ways to get revenge.
For example, is a dumb football jock picking on you because you shower in your underwear? Don’t shoot him in the head, taser him and then ritualistically castrate him.
Is the head cheerleader calling you a fat pig every day? Why make her swallow a shrapnel grenade when you can ether her and remove her nose, tongue and jaw with a paint scraper?
The point I’m trying to make here is that killing people is never the answer. Violence is. Besides, mass murder is such a pansy crime. If you want to have class, you should aim for a “Seven” style series of serial killings. Think about it: you already have no friends and are living in a fantasy world. How much of a change would it be use the 20 hours you spend downloading information on gay porn, vampire chats and napalm on something useful like…oh, I don’t know: torture techniques and Satanist rituals.
Damn kids are lazy. Anybody can go on a rampage. Put in a little effort and do something productive like serial killing or…date rapist! Yeah, that seems like a good hobby for burning off that excess aggression. When a girl says she just wants to be friends, just slip a pill into her school milk and go to town when she loses consciousness in homeroom.
In my day we didn’t kill our high school tormenters: we contented ourselves with the knowledge that in four years they’d be busted for raping an unconscious girl at house party or be kicked out of school for dealing drugs…true stories, by the way.
I guess what I’m saying is that kids today are really in need of a role model. Someone like Charles Manson or Jeffery Dahmer or even whomever killed Jonbenet Ramsey. It’s high time that kids learned the value of setting goals, channeling frustration and putting in a hard day’s work. Teenagers: stop smoking, wearing baggy pants, and playing with your skateboards. Do something productive and turn down that rap music for Christ’s sake.
No comments:
Post a Comment