“Ehren, it’s 3:30PM on a Sunday. Hell no! Why would I ruin my weekend like that?”
So I walked in to see my friend stretched out in bed, watching a movie. True to his word, there were no pants in sight. Luckily, he was wearing boxers. I counted myself fortunate and pulled up a chair.
After about 10 minutes of the most excruciatingly horrible dialogue and plot developments, I turned to my friend and asked, “What the hell are we watching?”
“The Gift. I hear Katie Holmes takes her shirt off.”
“I’m in!”
So I proceeded to waste a sunny, Sunday afternoon watching one of the most tasteless B-Movies ever created with my pantsless friend simply because there was a chance of seeing Katie Holmes’ boobs. And you know what? It was a fair trade. Of all the gifts given to mankind over the last hundred years, there are few greater than Katie Holmes’ breasts.
Somehow I don’t think it’s the kind of thing that women would do. I was speaking to a girl recently who said that a man’s attractiveness increases, the better she gets to know him. That implies that attraction for women is more of a cerebral thing.
Men are attracted to things far more shallow.
I had a friend who was lying in bed with his girlfriend, when she said, “Honey, would you love me even if I got a little bit of a belly?” My friend’s response: “Are you kidding? If you don’t drop five pounds by next week you and are finished.”
1 comment:
Listen here Al Gezira , I don’t know what country you live in but we’re in
A Fucking merican and naked time or partial naked time is a very sacred time and should be recognized. Besides you know I have declared a no pants embargo in my house, which goes triple for girls.
Two: Let your readers know we watched the Gift two years before that Harold and Kumar movie came out, just so people don’t think we did it for that reason, shit as soon as I heard Katie was showin something I was on it like a fat kid on pie or cake or maybe some ice cream, well really any type of sweet. I felt that I did not waste my Sunday in vain but used it for a heir purpose, God’s purpose, which is, Katie’s glorious breast. I am a better man for it.
Three: Don’t miss quote what I say to my girlfriend it make look like a hate monger and implies that I don’t like big girls, that couldn’t be farther from the truth, I am equal opportunities. You know this, stop the hate crimes.
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