No Means No

I was thinking today about how little respect men are given when they say they don’t want sex. I mean, women are offered sex just about every waking moment from the time they reach puberty until death. And in some very rare instances, sometimes even a few days after death. But I digress.

Because of the wide availability of dick, women think little of turning it down. They know that there’s always another dick six inches or so down the road.

Men, on the other hand, know that the number of girls offering sex to them is limited. So we’re supposed to feel grateful at every scrap a woman throws at us. Which why girls never take it seriously when a guy says “no.”

Think about it. All I’ve ever been told since I became aware of these things is “No means no.” When I went to college orientation I learned about when date rape is a man’s fault. It breaks down this way:

• If you’re both sober, it’s your fault.
• If you’re sober and she’s drunk, it’s your fault.
• If you’re drunk and she’s sober, it’s your fault.
• If you’re both drunk, it’s your fault.

Legally, if a woman even thinks “maybe I don’t want anyone to look at me tonight.” You’re guilty of rape.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is great. But there are times when I’m going to lay down the law. And without fail, the few times I did it, I got zero respect.

Back in college, I was fooling around with a girl. She was hot and things were getting pretty heated. And then she made a play to get my pants off. Now, maybe it’s a foolish line to have, but this girl had only been broken up with one of my friends for about 3 days. I could justify making out…both of us were very drunk, but I wasn’t going to do that to a friend.

I told her I didn’t want that. And she said, “ok.” Five minutes later, she went back for it again. So I got up and left. You would have thought I’d slapped the girl. She was so pissed she never spoke to me again.

Now reverse the roles. Imagine that I had tried that on a girl who said no. Girls saying, “no” is the story of my life! How big of an asshole would I be to try again and then be pissed when she wouldn’t put out?

My friend tells a story of hooking up with a girl in his room. They were getting hot and heavy; she was naked, he was naked and doing…various things. He describes the actions as “warming the oven.” So the two of them were having a great time getting her amply “warmed” and he had every intention of getting down.

But then, out of nowhere, she piped up, “So, are you going to fuck me or what?”

He stopped and looked at her for a moment. Then he got up, tossed her panties at her and said, “No, get the fuck out.”

We all know that women hold about 51 of the cards when it comes to sex. And girls, you can get sex 99% of the time by asking for it. But don’t mistake that for total power. Because sometimes, we men will play our one card just to let you know what it feels like. Hey, you’re the ones screaming for equality. And bitch, this is as equal as it gets.