Lord knows I’ve been tempted…Goddamn have I been tested! I was at a party one night, when a girl I’d been working with came up to me and started flirting. We shared a few drinks and then she went in for the kiss. I said, “I’m sorry, I’ve got a girlfriend. I can’t do this.” This is where the story takes a turn.
I’ve always felt that no one method of seduction works with every woman. Some girls respond to really aggressive pick-up strategies, but others are driven wild by the unobtainable man. The girl who was after me was very good looking: dark hair, pretty face, curves in all the right places and it quickly became apparent that she was not used to being turned down.
She promptly redoubled her efforts and said, “Your girlfriend doesn’t have to know. Come on, I’ll show you the best time you ever had.” When I still refused, clothing began being removed (hers, not mine) and a beer bottle was subjected to a treatment that I’m quite sure it was not designed for. When I resisted, she left and I thought the matter was resolved…oh, how wrong I was.
At the end of the night, very intoxicated, I headed over to a bed I’d reserved at the beginning of the night and flopped down. I had been lying down for about a minute before the door opened and Ms. Temptress entered…followed by a rather shapely friend. The two of them proceeded to make a final sales pitch to me by demonstrating their kissing abilities…on each other…without tops…
This was a few years before I’d actually had a threesome, and as far as I was concerned, probably my only opportunity for such an experienced. But I kicked their ass t the curb and slept alone. What really pisses me off about the story was that I later found out that the girl I was in a relationship with was cheating on me. We broke up about three weeks later. It was SO unfair.
At any rate, I figure if I can turn down that, I can turn down anything. Interestingly, I’ve had no problem sleeping with women who have boyfriends. It’s been my New Year’s resolution to stop, but I don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with me being a guy-on-the-side. Hey, if it wasn’t me, it’d be someone else. That’s why I never understood the boyfriends who get pissed off at the guys that their girlfriends sleep with. It’s insulting. Brother, if your girl wouldn’t be cheating if 1) you were more attentive and 2) she wasn’t completely devoid of morality.
I have a weird double standing for cheating. I’d never do it, but I don’t mind enabling someone else to cheat…though I will secretly judge them because of it. I was speaking to one of my female friends and she said, “That is SO low. You’re not allowed to sleep with a girl who has a boyfriend and then hold it against her!” To which I replied, “The hell I can’t!”
I’ve noticed a pattern with cheaters: it’s never just once. I’ve only ever been with one girl who I know cheated on me and if you look at her history, it was bound to happen again. All of her relationships ended because she cheated.
I don’t believe in “special cases,” one-time slip-ups, or I-was-drunk-and-didn’t-know-what-I-was-doings. No. I have a zero-tolerance cheating policy. If you gave in once, you’re going to do it again. That’s just how these things work. So I don’t mind sleeping with a girl who’s got a boyfriend, but you’re out of your mind if you think I’ll date her.
3 comments:
You're a good man for your 'zero-tolerance policy'. I wish there were more like us! :o)
E, do you remember that commercial a while back where there are two friends on a porch and there is one beer left, and they go back and forth saying secrets from over the years to get the last beer. Well, as your brother I fell compelled to remind you (and also add a sudden twist to the narrative of this story) that you do believe in special cases, which is if you are blindly in love with girl. Dan Dan Daaaaaaannnnn….. Doesn’t it suck that I read this, but it gives me so much amusement in a normally dreary day. Just remember, what would Jesus do? I’ll tell you what he would do, you know that line about turn the other cheek, well it wasn’t talking about turning away. You can’t play Jesus for a puck, it meant turn the other cheek that you didn’t already slap and lay your pimp hand strong on that cheating bitch. I’m done Halla…
I have come to a realization Eek. You are a far better man than I. Reading this blog I assumed that you didn’t realize women want you MUCH more when you’re taken. After reading “Unavailable” I see you do, but you still don’t cheat. I, on the other hand, have dated girls purely to make their hot friends want me. And where you have dated the friends of exes after breaking up, I just skip the whole breaking up part. I guess that’s where the “Once a cheater always a cheater” thing comes in. I know I should probably adopt your attitude toward fidelity but my penis is like a retarded 3 year old. It’s driven by curiosity and the need to be hugged. Hopefully some of your morality will rub off on me.
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