Get A Sense Of Humor!

And now a short disclaimer: Ladies, the things I’ve written in my previous posts are meant to be funny. My statements are overblown and intended to be tongue in cheek. So, feel free to call off the hounds.

I received a number of angry Instant Messages yesterday, from people who were hurt, angry or simply wanted to fight. So let me say, “I applaud the way your gender has rallied around Cock Blocking.” It’s touching, really.

However, if you do want to rumble, please note that “you’re a terrible person” doesn’t really count as an argument. I actually took a few debating classes at school, and you’ve got to remember that attacking your opponent’s character is only a valid technique in politics. Got that, you skanks?

Hahahahahaha…I’m just kidding.

In light of the personal attacks, I’ve decided on a new prerequisite for my perfect girl: sense of humor. It’s got to be a GREAT sense of humor. See, long ago when I was a lad, way back before the weight of the world crushed my spirit; I decided that a sense of humor was vital to survival. There was some generally horrible shit going on and I was getting depressed and moody, when finally I just started laughing at it.

In a sick way, life is really very funny. My philosophy since then has been, “life is a joke that you’re on the wrong end of.” That doesn’t mean you can’t argue with me. I actually really enjoy a spirited debate, but you’d better realize that I think just about everything’s funny and I take very little of what’s said personally. See, the really smart people, watch what you do not what you say.

I need the kind of girl where when we fight (and fights are pretty much inevitable, or you have communication problems) we can turn to each other and just crack up. Then have fabulous make-up sex. Then laugh some more...then more make-up sex...then...well, you get the idea.

The worst thing that can happen to a person is a loss of sense of humor. It’s what all fanatics have in common. The Christian right, the protesting hippies, and the Muslim fanatics. That’s really the scariest thing about terrorists: they’re a people who wandered the desert for years and never encountered a knock-knock joke. Maybe because they lived in tents. But you would have thought that’d at least have dreamed up a flap-flap joke.

There’s a special ring in Hell for people who take themselves too seriously. Unfortunately, we now have so many of them that they’ve brought it up here to the rest of us.

I’d like to end this rant with a quote from George Carlin:

“Anything can be funny. Even rape! You don’t think that rape can be funny? Ok, then picture Elmer Fudd getting raped by Bug Bunny. See? Rape can be funny!”