How The Hell Does Online Dating Work?

I think I’m behind the eight ball on this whole Internet thing. I was still shocked to find out that the Internet came on computers now. When the hell did that happen?

In the course of my life, I’ve never dated anyone that I met online. I’ve met someone in person and then made the step from “prospect” to “starter” through online flirting, but how do you go from the virtual world to reality? Everyone’s got to be a little wary about internet folks. Like everyone else who first went online in the mid 90’s, I was taught to believe that everyone who talks to you on the internet is:

1. A 45-year-old male who lives in his mom's basement
2. A child-hungry pedophile.
3. A chronic masturbator and/or sex offender.

My friends keep telling me that My Space is some sort of Mecca for desperate singles, so I guess someone’s figured out the necessary steps. If you’re one of those people, post up and fill me in!

Here’s what I suspect the steps are:

1. Initial message through My Space: send comments on a blog or some aspect of their page.
2. If they respond, write back and ask a few questions.
3. If they respond again, add them to your “friends.”
4. Ask for an email/and or Instant Messenger name
5. Flirt online, and then ask for phone number.
6. Call and arrange a meeting in a place with many, many witnesses.

Is that too many steps? It seems unnecessarily complicated. If it’s going to take this much work before I can even start working on a girl face-to-face, I seriously have to doubt the efficacy of online dating. At this rate, I’d be better off just downloading a whole bunch of porn.